out of the blue

12.30am and sitting under the cover of darkness, chill air and a good song orchestrating in the ears .. that's a pretty nice night life, if you ask me. forgetting what was and should be done, yeah, even only for a little moment. the mellow sound of crickets and rumbling engines of planes breaking the silent code, cracking a bit of peace of mind. but it's all good. non matters compare to the busy city life once the sun sets the first ray at dawn.

air whispering lullabies, signaling the time has come for a good night sleep yet the eyes are and still wide open, thoughts flowing in and out, while the brain processes nothing but dull notion. yet, why am i pondering this late? not that it's a mystery coz' i know, some might been doing the same thing right now and thinking the same thing. why do we need to live this way?

i was thinking what will happened for the next 2 or 3 years from now. scary, though. when i think back the days i used to hangout with that same bunch of friends who mostly have already settled down, having a bunch of kids around, wifes to die for, and so fort, .. those days were the best. nothing to worry about and nothing to scare of. nothing seems significant. back during my study years, that was. friends all over, fun was around almost in every corner of the eyes.

we used to clean up the house while blasting kitaro to the max, meditating through the sound of 'silk road', getting rid the dust once in a semester. that was fun. as though we really need to meditate, eh? belajar nda, tapi mo meditate tension konon. but yeah, i guess we really did get tension by the hell kuala lumpur could offer with. kuala lumpur.. yeah, i survived kuala lumpur for almost 4 years and a half, alone. but yeah, not forgetting close friends. i cherish every moment i had in sin city, though it was hard, but we had fun. thanks, ya'll.

the fun side of being alone in the busy metropolitan, for me, is when i rode the public transportation, be it the bus, train, komuter or anything, to see the road sight, it's something out of the world's experience. im not the type who like to go to the malls or famous landmarks but rather someone who you can bring to journey down the suburb metropolitan, watching the old and dark side of city life; very2 old building, elders, back alley's temples, old and empty neighborhood, drugs, prostitution, low life and mostly, hard life.

i like to see and to observe. people and places. how they behave and how they live their lives. you know it's always hard but life ain't always easy. it pains you, piercing the heart, to see some ugly side of it but this is reality. not to pity or down grade anyone, but my current life isn't that much different from others. same here, just manage to hang on a sinking boat. slowly but scary. waiting for another chance of another boat to pass by, hoping to grab a hold on it. life, sailing in a vast dangerous sea. anything can happen.

living in an alien world, that's what i always thought of living in semenanjung, because people was like.. 'ohh, u datang dari sabah? selamat datang ke malayasia' . selamat datang my ass, as if i don't belong to this country. fuck that. one of many, most precious comfort i had was when visiting a friend in Shah Alam. we used to have good talks, drinking, billiard, and all, like we always do for almost 20 years back, since primary 1 ya. come back la weh, kita reunion with the bachelor gang haha. speaking of bachelor, my gawd, any good girl available ka? haha.

neway, si aseng suda tunggu d luar..going for supper now. later.