diggin' my way back to keningau

it's a long long way journey back, a 2 hours boredom. arrrrr ... anyone wants a free ride home?

a fair share

yes, im still alive if anyone ever wondered, just on hiatus mode these days. not that i dont have the time to update this haunted crap site but it's more like "i dont really know what to talk about and how to start anything". with all the 'small serious talks' being done, things started to overflowing, and overpowering. stress is building up exponential, rocketing up high.

all the hu-ha rush is sliding on the fast lane. the thing is, im still shocked and blurred, hard to catch up. everything seems too far from reach. pieces flocking together so fast and thoughts become burdens. nights instead become my nightmares having not the urge to sleep, let alone a good night sleep. my body clock is about to collapse. my 6a.m is now becomes a 6p.m and vice versa, only the days past without ever changing its current daily basis. it's 2.40a.m now and i'm just about to take dinner.

i have a "magical box" in my room where i usually keep some stuff as tokens of remembrance to those years i left behind, more like a time capsule or a diary, some kind of guidance i held onto. yes, i have a very very bad record in keeping my memory intact so i use the box as an alternative method since study years. i took it out last week and took an amount of time to peek everything lies inside.

it scares me when i can't even remember like 70% of the stuff, more or less, my memory. i was like, where was i during those years? and what actually happened? i dont deny that most of my memory slips by from time to time, but this is getting ridiculous now. this is getting sooooooo lame, because i sometimes can't remember something even just by a mere 5 minutes gap. so don't blame me if i cant remember your name, it's not that i intentionally forget you, i am forced to forget. working as a record keeper, this is a nightmare.

red and green packets, got em from my grand elders more than a decade ago. there were times when i don't have any money left to spend for food during my study years but instead of using the money inside the packets, i keep em safe and sound. these are some of the memories i can definitely held on to, when it comes to them. sad though, they all have left for good, leaving me with good luck charms for years to come. and i also found a small envelope filled with a bunch of old rm1, rm5, rm10, and some international currencies. didn't see that coming, though. i was kinda surprise, even more.

i had this letter sent to me with a 'gelang tangan' by... can't remember who hahaha. man, a lot of stuff were sent to me by random senders. guess i quite famous last time eh?? lol

here's another one by a chinese lady, suzane?? one of many key chains i received from time to time.

ok i definitely cannot remember who gave me this haha.

i had a crush with a girl whom nickname is chalot during the old days. we are the best of friends since we were around 13? or 14? i was in a different secondary school. it's funny though, even after a full 11 years of trying to win her heart, she ended marrying a different guy. but i had fun, and so did her, i guess. the best part was the way we keep that relationship fresh by sending a fully hand written of 10 pages letter every week or so. hahaha. a very conservative way of cinta monyet. we did phone calls and SMS but that didn't deliver the addictive fun. distance somehow an enemy when studying in kolompo and the other part stayed just next to the Philippines islands, Sandakan. the relationship was broken when another guy took the best part around 2002 and the picture above speaks the most of the history, it has been an 8 years unsent letter. it was supposed to be a perfect love ending but somehow it's pretty late now. the pic below shows some of the fun chain of letters.

yeah, i dreamt of meeting her in my dream last night. it's been years since our last. she have 2 children now, pretty productive, i say. how time flies so fast. i guess my memory was pretty much concentrated towards her rather than everything i went through the whole two decades haha. love was so much fun back then, the way i went through it, yes. no one ever excite me the way she did, .... just yet.

midnight rambling

it's midnight now yet bukit bintang refuses to sleep. the blasting shock waves just won't end claiming yet another title, 'a garden city of entertainment'. 'the city of lights' is kinda old now, everyone is staying in a different era. new era of alcohol, drugs and so fort, u know the list, it goes on. well again, it shows. clock strikes whatever hours yet the city wont give up its grand superiority.

just finished watching 'old dogs', myself, escaping the boredom and busy city life. maybe it's just me, but nothing interests me with the on going city rush. or maybe im just tired. let's just put this in a different perspective, well yeah, us, giving some space for the moms to fullfill their shopping desires and worrying not of the whereabouts of their sons and daugter.

nothing to worry about since the one and only chance of us getting lost is by stupidly entering the wrong cinema, which my bet goes to a 99.9% possibility that it will not happen today and of course, it didnt happen, but to say it will never ever happen, there are people fated to fill in that 0.01% error slot, so i might be wrong, sometimes. not everything is perfect nor do i.

had a phone call from the jabatan pendidikan keningau asking me to come and pick up the invitation letter for the 'guru sandaran' interview which will be held in tenom the day after i get back from kolompo. when will this sudden rushes stop. give me some break eh. i didnt get the name of that lady on the phone, not even the name of the venue.

so life seems will surely end up as a teacher huh. grooming kids to fly away, very far away.

kl trip part 4

hah the fifth day, it's shopping theme today and im sitting in the food court blogging. not just me but a bunch of us, boys. it's just not in our family trend for guys to go shopping, only for the women side. it's already a cult to sit in the food court and wait. yeah, like i still have the money to shop haha.

though, im not the kind to shop but i still escort the buyers haha. my mom and i went to buy some clothes for kids. she went inside the shop and i waited outside, like always. saw these two elders trying to cross the street and guess what, not to boast about it but whenever i saw elders or kids in the middle of the road trying to cross my way, i stopped, but here, if u cannot run as fast as a cat, you're a dead meat. a very barbaric kinda world. everyone is in their own egoism. that's why i came back to sabah for a living. i never like k.l in the first place.

so many people to see and so many faces to decipher. too many things to handle in one shot. me, myself, is kinda out of place here. i kinda like being this odd. seeing things in a different way, i say. though, it's kinda busy at the moment, but still is a sad place to be.

kl trip part 3

we didn't go for a Jonker walk yet a sun burn is a sun burn, after all. punya panas. the heat really is an enemy, i had to buy another hat. this time it's a ... i don't know the name but still a cool hat. i bought 2 new hats since thursday. given another week here i might open a new shop back in kk selling new hats aha.

speaking of the heat, my uncle joked about it 'kalau putih terus jadi hitam, kalau hitam terus jadi hangus' ahaha. funny quote. so we went for a cendol, durian flavored cendol. fuhhh manissss. how malacca folks can eat that kind of sugar level, it's a mystery. sooooo overly sweet. i'll pass.

i'm tired of fast food, man. i need nasi and a decent home cook meal. was thinking to tapau some food but every time we stopped, there is no sight of restaurant around. bad bad bad huhuhu. might get lucky in Nilai, i hope. itu pun kalau ada.

everyone is sleeping now. gotta catch my nap too. later.

kl trip part 2

so here i am again, blogging inside the bus, keeps rollin' rollin' rollin' to melaka. broadband comes in handy. i think im going to get one la like this. cool. blogging when others just sit and do nothing. not like i have much to do but at least the brain gets functional, at the best as it could get, momentarily.

started the morning trip to melaka with an indian guy as our 'bus' pilot and a 'rasa sayang eh rasa sayang sayang eh' by my 3 yrs old lil cousin singing breaking the code of sound by the engines.

i had fun gambling in Genting, losing rm200 in the wheel of fortune. nasib 200 ja. some of us won and ended membelanja minum beer hahaha. money worth nothing when it comes to gambling, it's true. i saw this one chinese couple gambled losing thousands of ringgit by minutes. sitting next to them, my gawd, it's nerve wrecking.

we had beers and stouts there worth rm14 and rm15 each can, paying almost 500 each session. gila haha macam kaya ja but we won back the money in the casino. thanks for the spinning head, the wheel of fortune got bad luck hehe but still, im in the losing side. i've tried my best, ok! hehe

living life in the bus is tiring. if only malaysia is australia. it would be so much fun ehehe. sitting in the park watching people pass by while eating ice cream and flowers everywhere. fuhh i want that.

ohh speaking of ice cream, we were in the park eating ice cream ramai2 while waiting for my cousins to take their turn, people around were watching and some of em ended up joining hahaha. makan ice cream time sejuk2. best juga. the funny thing was when a malay guy look at us and proposed his girlfriend for an ice cream but got rejected on the spot, we were like ahaha kesian, apa punya girl la nda romantik.

ok the bus is getting bumpy. later.

kl trip part 1

ok here's a fast n furious updating :P im in LCCT at the moment makan ayam merrybrown. less spicy compares to all the rempah ratus of KFC. i usually enjoyed my meal, i mean whenever i ate KFC but not here. all the flies freely fly in and out the outlet, pakcik sebelah meja sneezing without covering his mouth, all the different2 languages.. pening. that is why i never like kolompo when it comes to staying or working here. yerrrr.. too fuzzy la the surrounding.

i went back to keningau last night to complete my application as a 'guru sandaran'. i never thought that i would go for teaching, NEVAAAA!!!! but thats the turning point, i guess. ya la whatever comes, comes la. malas suda mo fikir2. so i drove back to k.k this morning making another record, only an hour driving from keningau to k.k. it usually took me 1 and a half hours to 2 hours. i had a plane to catch at 12, that's why la.

speaking of keningau, i got brainwashed again last night. was forced to take the 3rd generation's throne. responsibility responsibility responsibility huhuhu. although i want to pass it to my cousin, im the 'oldest male' candidate huhu. menang tanpa bertanding lagi tu aduhh.

ba jap nanti sambung. mo p genting lu kasi bankrub tu kasion si lim ekekeke